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Come on in and leave a comment to get your troubles out. Use any email address and alias you prefer. We want you to feel safe and heard here and anonymity is top priority.
6 comments
Hi… i’m Andrew S whoever is reading this right now I want you to know that you matter and that while things are tough in your life right now know that u can get through it and are not alone sending many thoughts and good vibes! ❤️✌️
My life sucks rn. Every time I do anything I ruin it. I’m the problem it’s me.
I have been particularly stressed recently. I am attending Graduate School, working a full-time job and part-time at another job on my days off. I recently lost 2 friends one that passed and one that said they need space but I feels more like they no longer want to be friends so I am mourning both. I feel lonely often due to that…when I have time to feel lonely anyway….or when I have time to think about it. I feel like the friend I have wants me to change how I feel and apologize for it but they also want me to be real and authentic, I just don’t think there is a way to do both. Because I feel how I feel and I would just be lying if I said I feel differently. I know I have been selfish and angry for many reasons and that is not excuse the lack growth I have been showing is sad really. However, I feel at least I am able to take accountability for my part. The friend states she does not want me to just do what she wants but our friendship has been that way for years and the one time I don’t agree she becomes upset and wants me to change my mind on what I believe. I feel she will never speak to me again because I will not lie and until I do I feel they will continue to believe I am the only one to blame. There are parts to what is going on that they are also unaware of or may be aware of but has not mentioned it, but much of that is on that is on her. But I feel if I even point it out they will find a way to say that is on me as well and want me to apologize for seeing their part in it. They tell me to talk to a professional but I do and they believe from all texts and voice messages that the friendship was one sided and the friend was just not, not really. On one hand I want to write a letter with all the points even what I have not said yet and be 100% honest but on the other I feel that will put the last nail in coffin that is our friendship. Then there is the part of me that just wants to let it go and cut all ties. Then there is the part that loves them and wants to just give in to be friends again, but that worries me about resentment or hidden irritation, anger and holding back constantly. SO yeah
I am suppose to travel to see my mom today, I made the plans a week ago, but I just can’t shake the feeling today isn’t the day to go. But I know she will be sad, but I’m just dreading to get up and go. This happens alot. I guess I just needed it out in the universe that I should follow my intuition.
Sending blessing this evening!